the scars of (in)action

I am a part of the generation of young millennials and gen-z that have “lost their faith.”

Below is an excerpt from my first piece for Christians for Social Action, an incredible group of scholars and practitioners stirring the imagination for a fuller expression of Christian faithfulness and a more just society. You can read the full piece here.

Photo by Braden Hopkins on Unsplash

I am a part of the generation of young millennials and Gen-Z that have “lost their faith.”

I was raised in the evangelical tradition. I grew up reading I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Blue Like Jazz. To the confusion of my public school peers, I sported a purity ring on my left hand and t-shirts that said “Unashamed” and “God is Love.” At youth group, I’d quote VeggieTales and reminisce about the best episodes of Bibleman. In high school, I worked as a hybrid janitor-worship leader at my local church for three years. Occasionally, I even climbed the pulpit to preach at the Saturday men’s group or Wednesday night youth service. Every Sunday, you’d find me in the front row of every service, taking (and retaking) notes.

I also studied at Moody Bible Institute, a historic evangelical college located in downtown Chicago. In my four years there, I learned about theology, ancient Greek, and methods of interpretation. I played in the chapel band, led the Student Theological Society, and served as an RA for my dorm floor. I attended the annual missions conference and Founders Week, learning from many leaders who frequent the pages of Christianity Today. I faithfully showed up each week to my ‘Practical Christian Ministry’ assignments, traveling out to Chicago neighborhoods to volunteer at various non-profit organizations and after-school programs.

My time in the evangelical tradition, though, has also come with lasting pain points. I can recall evangelical pastors who told me that my Indian identity and Christian faith were unreconcilable. They instructed me to leave my cultural heritage behind and “find my identity in Christ.” I think of my Bible college peers who, in their evangelical zeal, saw my physical disability and felt compelled to stop me and pray for my healing. Yet, when the healing did not manifest, these peers condemned me for not having enough faith in God. I recall also the rebuke I received from my professors for studying with an Indian American professor in the theology department—the only faculty member who told me to embrace my Indianness as a site of God’s work in my life.

Given this, arguing for the constructive role of “evangelicals in a diverse democracy” is not a project I can hold at arm’s length. The question of how we might live faithfully and neighborly in a world we don’t control is bound up with my own faith and experience in the evangelical tradition. I am not a passive observer; I am an active participant. Like those who’ve contributed to this incredible series, my faith is fundamentally shaped by the evangelical tradition.

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When Christians—especially young Christians—push back against these shifting norms, these leaders look at my generation and assume we’ve left our faith at the door. However, these different expressions should not be confused with a wavering commitment to Christ and his church. If anything, our creative expressions of faith, worship, and gospel proclamation reflect a commitment to making Christ known in this new American landscape that Matthew Kaemingk calls a “pluralistic bazaar of diverse cultures, religions, ideologies, and lifestyles.”

This change, though, isn’t for the sake of being different or unique. Instead, it is an active response to the church’s inability to reckon with and engage in this new landscape. Many of my peers, like myself, bear the scars of evangelical action and inaction. Truly, this cultural moment is exposing the abusive actions of religious leaders, the transformation of congregations into political camps, and the inability of theologians to substantively address the evil and injustices of our world. We see evangelicals’ endless pursuit of control and power that comes at the cost of loving our neighbors and demonizing those who disagree with us.

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